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Monday, November 20, 2006 

An Epiphany of Self Awareness

Oh yes, I had a revelation. It came to me while in the midst of reading "Blatant Raw Foodist Propaganda" by Joe Alexander. I have been having a hard time staying on the all raw wagon. I went 28 days completely raw in October, then I broke it all Halloween weekend in Goblin Valley when I partook of some evil witches' brew (soup). It was good soup, and I enjoyed helping cook it and eating it with friends.

However, I have been trying to justify my addiction to cooked foods as a substitute for comfort. Yes, I like most people, find immense pleasure in both cooking and eating cooked foods. I rationalize eating it by saying that it makes me feel good to eat with friends, and it brings me comfort on cold days. To be a part of something so simple that can bring people together in such a way food can feels really nice. It feels good to make a big pot of soup on a cold day and eat until I feel warm all over.

The folly of these comforts is in that they are temporary. The feeling of ease and well being lasts only a moment and then I am back to feeling something else.

When I eat raw food for extended periods of time, something extraordinary happens within me. I feel alive, healthy, happy, and renewed. I am in a constant state of feeling emotionally stable. And when this happens, I feel at one with my body.

Many people out there knows how it feels to be in a battle with your own body. It is not a happy feeling. Even when I eat "healthy" cooked food, I feel dragged down, sluggish, bloated and even a bit guilty because I know what it does to me. When I eat a diet that is completely uncooked and completely nutritious, I feel completely comfortable in my own skin. In fact, it was this quote in Alexander's book that led me to this epiphany: "There's no pleasure greater than feeling comfortable in your own body."

And its true, painfully true. I've had my share of self-loathing. I've had my share of eating disorders. I've had my share of low self-esteem. I've had my share of demons surrounding every body image issue known. These feelings about myself is part of what prompted me to regain control over my body and myself.

So really, the trade off isn't such a bad one. A few small, short lasting comforts for many, long lasting ones. The rewards are there. The pleasures are vast and amazing. It's not hard to do once I get in the swing and get determined. Sometimes you just loose sight of what's really important: Feeling the best you possibly can. When you are at complete ease yourself and love who you are through and through, then everything else falls into place, and life is a sweet, fruit filled journey of amazing experiences.

Oh Heather, you're such a beautiful person. You have so much insight. You're body and spirit are both truly beautiful. I'm always happy to you putting them in harmony with each other.

I loved talking about food with you the other night. I need to take this same leap and go from being vegetarian to vegan.

It's hard for me to turn down meals that others prepare for me, with love, when I'm a guest in their home. It's hard to turn down the pasta that I know was made with cream. However, like you, I know that my body is so much more happy without dairy.

I especially admire you for eating raw foods. I did it for a month and I was so happy. However, I find it challenging enough to be vegetarian. Just skipping out on the meat has brought me a lot of happiness though. I think we're blessed when we don't indirectly cause death and pain to other animals.

Thanks for this post.

P.S. I can't wait to see you and give you a huge hug!

Oh man! I wish I could go back and edit "You're body" to read "Your body". Sheesh. You'd think I'm an editor or something. ;)

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